I commit to write again.

Hello anybody. I haven’t written for a couple of months. I made a commitment at one time to write because I’ve got so much inside me that I’ve just GOT to get out. And I wrote. I wrote about 7 or 8 posts. And had a lot more traffic than I really expected. I mean, I thought I’d have maybe my parents, maybe my siblings read my post. But on one of my early posts, I got over 150 views. That may not sound like a lot to a blogger, but to me, it was a lot of people who knew personal things about me. And, frankly, I was scared. Excited too, but mostly scared. I thought it was cool and I wrote a few more. Then one day somebody that I hadn’t talked to in several months mentioned my blog to me.

I was really surprised.

And.
I was scared. I felt too vulnerable and scared to write any more. I made up lots and lots of excuses to stop writing. And DEFINITELY to stop sharing. I didn’t want anybody to know THAT part. Or THIS wasn’t important enough for somebody to read about. It all turned into what readers would think. Besides, I was "too busy". So at first, I stopped writing altogether. Then I missed it too much and returned to my journal. Well, that fire is back inside me and I’ve just got to do something about it. So I’m sitting here tonight, blogging.

See, I LOVE life. I love it passionately and thoroughly. I have 2 little kids right now that bring me more joy than I can express. And I have these moments...These incredible, time stopping moments that are just pure heaven. I love my husband so much that in those rare moments that I get upset, I worry that maybe I’m making something up. Then I am proved that it really is that good. I experience miracles. I have seen clouds part and I have seen people healed. I live a different life than many people. But I want to share it. I want to show everybody in the world the good that is possible!!

Please don’t misunderstand and think that everything in my life is perfect. Or that I have everything together! I am a basketcase sometimes. But. I usually learn from those moments(---That was the original intention of this blog--to share the aftereffects of those crazy moments.)

I’ve got passion inside me and I just want to shout it out to the world. I’m not really as funny as I want to be. My posts are not just for entertainment. More than anything, they are for me. (hence the surprise that people were actually reading!)  But I also have an intention to inspire and uplift -and just be completely real. I’m human. And I’ve got some major faults that sometimes get in my way and hold me down.  I also have a gift for seeing and creating good. Anyway, this is just my public declaration that I will start writing again. And I will write if I have 6 views or 60,000. Because this is part of me.

It is very very hard for me sometimes to let people see all of me when I don’t know all of them. I’ve always hoped for equal reciprocation in a relationship. But I’m to a point in my life that I just can’t care about it. So. Here’s to more blogging. (If I had a glass of sparkling cider, I would tip it to you. Whoever YOU are. :) )